Friday, April 2, 2010

How the Jays will MAKE THE PLAYOFFS THIS YEAR!!!!!

Okay, so here it is. The Jays season starts in less than seventy-two hours and I really need to start writing more now. Let's start with this, a list of everything that IS GOING TO HAPPEN THIS YEAR and result in the Jays shocking the world on an '08 Rays like scale.

1.Shaun Marcum is going to return to form immediately and win 16-18 games this year.

2.Dustin McGowan is going to come back by June and win 11-13 games.

3.Brandon Morrow is simply going to be awesome.

4.Ricky Romero is not going to suffer any type of sophomore setback. He'll also win 14-17 games.

5.Dana Eveland is going to perform admirably until the inevitable return of an injured pitcher like Rzepchinski or Litsch or McGowan, or the call-up of Cecil.

6.Brian Tallet will do the same thing, then he'll go to the bullpen and dominate lives.

7.Jose Bautista will be this year's Marco Scutaro. No one will be sure whether or not they should believe in him, except Cito, and Cito will be right.

8.Aaron Hill will stay healthy and be as awesome as ever.

9.Adam Lind will put up even bigger numbers than last year.

10. Vernon Wells will stay healthy, and I mean really healthy, not just healthy enough to play. We, the fans, will in turn forget all about the disappointment he's caused us over the last three years as he knocks out thirty-five dingers and says something silly about how chicks still dig the long-ball.

11.The new lean, mean, Randy Ruiz machine will get lots of playing time and look almost as good as he did last year, only less fat.

12.Edwin Encarnacion will step it up and learn how to play defense.

13.Lyle Overbay will take the bat off his shoulder, and drive in ninety plus RBI.

14.John Buck will prove to be a great pitch caller and hit a few home-runs as a bonus. His back won't bother him too much, and he'll shock the world by not allowing any past-balls ALL YEAR.

15.Alex Gonzalez will play good defense, and be traded when Hecchavarria surprises everyone and becomes the starter in June.

16.Adeinis Hecchavarria will surprise everyone and become the starter in June. And be awesome.

17.Travis Snider will force the Manager to move him up in the order by playing like...let's go with Griffey Jr. circa 1993.

18.Jason Frasor will save thirty-eight games.

And then; "Hello, Playoffs. It's been a while. Now, get out of the way of our trophy!"


  1. You have higher hopes then eyebleaf, which I thought was impossible.

  2. ...I'm sure they'll be dashed soon enough, but until that day I will continue to dream.

  3. I don't even watch baseball and this seems so optimistic. Is nothing bad going to happen?

  4. Nothing bad is going to happen until something bad happens.

  5. And all of these things are going to happen until they don't.

  6. Nothing wrong with dreaming big!

    Even if five of the things on this list come true, I will be grateful. The thing I'm really scared of is Ruiz not getting enough plate appearances this year.

    If Overbay is the everyday first baseman and Lind is DH'ing, where does that leave room for Ruiz?

  7. I'm thinking that for the moment they probably won't play Snider against lefties, sliding Lind into LF those days and Ruiz into DH. From there I just hope that he plays well enough to make Cito re-think using Overbay everyday.
    That being said, I agree whole-heartedly with Cito's attempt to stick with his guys for the time being. At this point in the season I'd hate to see someone, even Overbay, have his confidence shaken up.

  8. I like several of your comments, and several of them may even come true. Marcum looks good - I worry a bit about fatigue later in the year though depending on conditioning. The fact th eMorrow is back and did o.k. in his first start is a good sign, and makes some hope for McGowan too. Ricky will be fine. Tallet is awesome. Frasor is going to make an adjustment again that will keep him solid for the whole year. He'll have plenty of help from downs and Gregg.
    And Wells is back. Saw a couple pictures of the change in his batting stance. He's already quoted as saying that dingers are fun, and he's going to enjoy them while he can. Now for comments about women.

    I think we're definitely winning more than the 70 or so games a couple of MLB sources are predicting. Hopefully we can get into the 90-100 win range, and spank the Yankees while we're at it.